TheeTwistedRaven

Well I am all moved in now and have things almost in order. Only one box left to unpack and it happens to be my dvds so that will be my project for the day as well ten million other things that I need to do. Blah, that is the one thing I hate about moving is unpacking everything and actually finding a job. Yes, I am unemplyeed at the momen but I have a job interview tomorrow so hopefully that all works out. I am still going to keep handing out resumes and stuff thought just in case. Ok, this was a short journal but I dont have anything to really write about.. O.o

Wow those fews days felt like torture. But I got a phone call from the boyfriend a few days ago and then I got to see him on Saturday. All is good! Thanks the fucking lord! Seriously I have no idea what I would have done if me and him would have broken up over this dumb fight. I can hardly remember what it was even about now that I think about it. Pathetic no?

Holy shit! Scary stuff I found out at work! Okay, so this girl called in sick about a week ago because she was vomiting and what not, turns out she might have H1N1. Then like three days later another girl calls in sick and got tested for H1N1, but the actually results take up to 10 days to get back to you. So they really dont know if they have it yet or not. And to make matters worse someone else got sick on friday as well! Like litterally ran to the bathroom and was vomitting to the point where our managers could hear her in the staff room. Majorly disgusting! Needless to say, I am extremely freaked out because i am partly enemic, so my immune system sucks as it is. If I got this fucking virus, I would probably have to be hospitalized. And I HATE hospitals and needles and shit. I mean, you would think that since I work with bleach and disinfectant and shit all day at work that I wouldn't be worried, well you would be wrong! In fact, I am hopeing to actually go and get my H1N1 vaccine today. But like I said, I hate needles so i am scared to go and get it done. =S

On a plus side again, I went to a hynotist show on saturday. I had never been hynotist before so I wanted to see if it could happen to me or not, or even what it felt like. Boy, I should have never gotten on that stage. Not only did I go under, I was the damn hynotists Guinea Pig! Seriously, I was called on t o do almost everything she asked. Lets see, I was Steve Irwins apprentice, so if I saw this Stuffed Croc I was suposed to show everyone how to handle him cafrefully. So I was jumping around on this damn stuffy while it was "suposibly" rolling around and trying  to bite me. So that went on all throughtout the night. Next I had a cat that sang the Meow Mix song and I had to convince the Hynotist that it was singing. Btut whenever it stopped singing I got really pissed off of it. Umm what else. OH! I was the toothfairy, so I ran out into the crowd and sold gum to people thinking they were teeth. So i kept saying "Dollar a tooth, dollar a tooth. Come on people I am going to get fired if I dont sell on these teeth!" Oh there is more.. Ummmm I had a pet gopher named Sam, and people were trying to kill him so I had to protect him no matter what. So I was throwing myself around and hiding behind people and chairs. God, it was so embarassing to have to remember all of that at the end of the night. My face turned beat red as I hid my face. Everyone was coming up to me and laughing, giving me hugs because I was such a retard up there. My family loved it so much that they bought a video! We get it in two weeks, and I cant wait to see what all happened and how stupid I looked. But god, it is going to be embarassing all over again. I just really hope that that video isn't shown at my wedding some day. Oh god....

Well I need to start by saying that I faught with my boyfriend over the most stupidest thing. Care to here the story..?

Umm where to start? Well he surprised me with going to the mountains for the weekend, which was absoultely amazing! I had so much fun, and we connected really well and it was just great. Then we got back home and things turned a full 180. We woke up in the morning and he went downstairs to watch tv, while I stayed upstairs because it is fucking cold in the house. Later on he comes upstairs and all of a sudden starts to talk about him not moving in with me because he isn't ready and doesn't think we were ready for it. Definately it caught be off guard since he wanted to live together in the beginning. So yea, it didn't kick in and make me upset until after he left to go back to his parents house to fly up north for work. So I brought it up on Facebook, that I was having these concerns about what he said and that we should talk. Now, I didn't want to call him since he was with his parents for Thanksgiving. So I started to just explain it into some more detail online. This just made him down right pissed off, so he called me and there we go, getting into our first fight. It was the worst thing ever. I was crying like crazy and getting uber scared. He sounded like he was going to break up with me so many times because our fight just kept building and building. Finally, he ended it with he needs to think over a few things. So now, I am so worried right now that he is going to break up with me.
I seriously would die without him if he broke up with me... There are just several things that I need to think about and do to ensure that we are going to be alright. It is a little weird that I dated someone for 2 years back in high school and he was my first love and it seems ever since he dumped me, I have been holding back to allow someone to be that close to me again. As if to  protect myself or something. But really, I am realizing that it is only pulling me away from having another real love in my life. Someone who isn't an asshole and cheats on you for your younger friend, little fucking slut. Sorry...  Anywho. I am attempting to think possitive.. please pray for me that it will work out alright..

Holy shit! It just never seems to end at this fucking place! So ok, we have two people open in the morning on Sunday and another person comes in around 9 am (which was my shift). I was cleaning out the small animal pens when an employee came out extrmemly pissed off because someone forgot to clean some shitty blankets. I was the closer from the night before, so I should have taken out the garbage but I didn't put those in there. Anywho, they were left in the dog room all night so tht morning person was extremely pissed off. So I confronted her and told her that I didn't put them in there but I am at fault for not removing the garbage that night. But I didn't even know those blankets were in there. Having done that I thought I was out of the dust, since I came out front and talked to her about it. But then on Tuesday I was called into the office to talk to my boss. And I got in shit for the whole fucking thing!! I didn't even so the fucking problem in the first place. So they wrote me up for my first warning and if any of these things happen again, then I am going to be fired.I was mad for the rest of the day, almost to the point where I wanted to cry or scream my lungs out. This company is complete bullshit. I am not the one to blame for the entire insident! But apparently they have to put it on someone.. I want to talk to people about it like my mom or my sister. But I dont want them to be disppointed in me. Since I was fired back in June for a retarded thing that happened at the last job. I really dont want to be a disppointment to them. And I feel like a retard that I am unable to hardly keep a job for over 3 months, it is very depressing...

Another note is that I am getting paied shit there and I am going to Mexico in January of this year and Decemeber of next year. I am hardly making the dead line for that, so I even have to borrow money from my parents and my boyfriend. I hate borrowing money from people because I know I wouldn't be able to pay them back for a little while. I just hate all of this. So I might have to take up a second job, which I have never done before. And pretty much have no life because I have to work all the time. And to make matters even worse, I am going to apply for my Biology 30 upgrading course and also to apply for my Excercise Equine course. So I have no idea when I am actually going to get to do what I really want in life. Seems like I am never going to get to my dream..

I seriously hate my life right now...

Alright first thing is first the contest winners. I know it has been a long time, but I am a a lazy person sometimes, hehe. So here we go!
1. Xappho (Triumph)
2. Alos DeCape
3. Demoan
4. Ostar

Now I am going to rant a little. So okay I went to school to be a Vet Asstiant and I worked in a few clinics so I know some stuff on animal diseases and crap like that. Now i work at a pet store, which isn't as exciting as it sounds, some days it is retarded. At the moment we have a huge parvo thing going around and we need to step in bleach buckets and crap like that, that is the retarded part. The puppies that caught it are now better but are still carriers and are shedding the virus through their fecal matter. We have different levels of workers at my work so we have to talk to the head kennel tech to make sure we are able to do stuff before going through with it; like putting different kennels of puppies together. So anyway, I was told that this puppies that are shedding the virus are able to walked out on the floor so we can take them outside to go to the bathroom, so I was going that. While I was doing that, one of the managers came up to me and started to yell at my about how the puppies aren't suposed to be on the floor becauase they could have shit on their feet and transfer it to other dogs that come into the store. Here I am standing there getting yelled at for something I was told that it was okay to do. Instantly I called the head kennel tech and she again told me it was okay to put them on the floor. I AM SO FUCKING CONFUSED!!! I was so frustrated about this dumb disease that is going around and getting told two different things, I seriously could have threw something against the wall. So of course I had to go with what the Manager told me and carry the damn labrador puppies out to the backdoors. And these guys are not very light at this point, and I probably look like a dork doing it since I am only 5'1". I am sorry for ranting about this but I am extremely frustrated about all of this, to the point where I dont even want to go to work until it is done and over with...GRRRRRR! >.<

Wow.. I feel better now.. ^^

Next on the list is to comment on Xappho. She is an amazing artist and you would commission her when she gets back from the Marine training. Right now she is swamped with a while bunch of commission but you will have to give her a ring once she get back!! ^^ At the moment she is selling Premades that you are able to purchase from her, so you should take a look at. Her address is in my favorites since I am still not exactly sure how to add someone's deviant icon to my journal, unless you need a premium mambership for that. I dunno, there are several things that I still dont know about this dA... Hehe. You would think I would understand it after however many years I have been on this damn website. But if anyone could tell me how to do it then it would help me out a hell of a alot.

Okay.. everything is good now... hopefully.